Five Days, Four Seeds

Miss Jenn at LACMA

A week ago today, I was in a rush. There was so much to do before picking up Jenn at one o'clock that Friday afternoon. I was so excited to see her, and to have her here for five full days. A gift, considering her last visit was all of 22 hours. We had big plans to do as much and as little as possible. Something we have a talent for.

Earlier this year, Jenn and I had joked that it felt like 2009 all over again. She was doing chemo, and wearing hats and scarves. I was, again, dealing with day job challenges, and the financial side effects of trying to manifest my career. What I hadn't told Jenn was that the week before she arrived, my latest day job ended. I didn't mention it because I didn't want her to worry about me. Because, with all that Jenn has going on, she's the kind of wonderful friend who will fret for my well-being. She's just incredible that way.

That morning was spent doing laundry and dealing with assorted loose ends. Going from one side of town back to the other to fetch Jenn and take her to my little oasis. I was worried I would end up being late to get her, but as it turned out, the timing was perfect. I lapped around LAX until she made her way out. And there she was in her pixie cut, long black coat and fuchsia scarf, chic and as beautiful as ever.

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Jenn and I have known each other since the seventh grade. My favorite memories of her were in our high school drill team prep class (that substituted for sweaty P.E.), where we would gossip in the back row while doing high kicks during warm ups. The basketball coach, who served as the "teacher", would often chide us for our chatter, but we never got into real trouble. Our song will always be The Tubes' "She's a Beauty", not only because it was the big routine we learned for that semester, but because of all the memories it invokes.

We always travelled in different circles that would at times overlap. And once high school ended, we went on to our lives, losing contact. I didn't see her at out tenth reunion, but kept an eye out for her. I often thought of her, especially when I worked with a magazine writer who had her name, hopeful, when I received the email, that it would be her. Then, about three and a half years ago, we found each other on Facebook. We started with emails, then long phone calls we called "wine dates" that would happen after she had put her son to bed and her husband was off at jazz band practice. We would laugh and share and catch up on what had transpired over the years. We spent election night together on the phone swooning with hope. Her husband was out of town on a business trip, due home in a couple of weeks. I thought it was odd that I didn't hear from her as much in those following days, but figured she was busy with her life, and her husband's return. Then, I got the email letting us know she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

That was three years ago.

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These five days were going to be a vacation for the both of us. Our mantra was: Eat, drink and be merry! We started with Jerry's Deli for a simple meal of comfort food after her bumpy flight that Friday. Then, we flipped out my sofa bed, put on our "jams" and huddled up for a good gab session. Then doubled over with laughter watching "Horrible Bosses". You would think we'd have opted for something more sophisticated, but this was going to be an extended slumber party.

Jenn slept in, as any mother should when she's away from her adorable alarm clock. We met up with another friend from high school for lunch. More laughter and memories flooded our side of the restaurant. After saying goodbye to Debbie, we walked under the gray skies to get a latte then walk down the pier, back by the canals of my Venice, then home. And just as we entered, the skies opened up and heavy rain fell. It was short, but enough to dampen the ground and make the air fragrant.

Saturday night, we made dinner and curled up on the sofa bed watching movies, pausing them when commentary on the film, or life, was needed. This was a perfect way to gather our energy for a day at LACMA on Sunday, where we would see works by our favorite artists (Rothko for her, Kandinsky for me), and see her car (well, one like it) on exhibit in the California retrospective. It was a gorgeous day, perfect to be surrounded by such beauty. We both fell even deeper in love with Los Angeles.

Monday, I got to introduce Jenn to one of my surrogate mothers, Maureen, who has been something of a guardian angel to me. We had a delicious lunch at one of my favorite haunts. Sitting on the patio at Lilly's, Maureen and Jenn talked about how Rothko's paintings breathe, and I was warmed that two of my dearest friends were becoming friends, too.

"I feel like going out to dinner," Jenn said that night. "Let's go to Hal's." And so we did and had our traditional dinner of a shared turkey burger with fries. The best espresso martini-maker was on duty that night, so how could we pass up a sip of that?

We left before the jazz band started, walking arm in arm to the car. "Of course you love living here," Jenn said. "Everything is so inspiring." I looked at her, smiled and agreed, noting the irony that Jenn doesn't see how inspiring she is.

Throughout her stay, Jenn had been posting on her blog, FourSeeds.com, all via her iPhone. I barely had time to glance at a social network, but would catch a glimpse of a post by Jenn, wondering when she had the time to write something. Here I thought she was just texting when I saw her thumbs working the screen. No. She was creating yet again.

For the first time during her stay, neither of us slept like logs. I heard her padding around in my bedroom as I lay in the living room waiting for sleep to come again. Was it the espresso, the fact that it was her last night, or the doctor's appointment the next day that kept us from deep slumber? Perhaps a little of all. When I woke early that Tuesday morning, I noted her postings on Twitter and Facebook at four a.m.

There would be no sleeping in that day...the one day we both could have used it. Instead, we went to The French Market Café, another haunt of ours, for soy lattes and croissants, and conversation. Then, the drive over to Cedars, and the long walk in.

This time, we had more time after the appointment to regroup. Lunch on Robertson at The Newsroom. Then wandering around the famed boulevard to a retail overload at Kitson. Finally, the ride back home before LAX. Even five days wasn't enough time to fit everything in.

Goodbyes are never fun, but they are easier when you know when the next visit is to be. It will be my turn to go up. And I can't wait.

One of the themes we kept touching on was that we can create the life we want, in spite of whatever circumstance seems to be standing in our way. We can defy odds, break rules, set new standards. Statistics should be blatantly ignored. Because we have lives to live, and dreams to fulfill. And there is much more joy and laughter to be had.

Be sure to read the beautiful posts Jenn has written this week (and from the start) at FourSeeds.com.